Chapter 5: Italian chains

My good man, ElPadrino, touched on this subject on his blog. But I have decided to go further into this topic.


I am not a full-blooded Italian, but I do have Italian blood in my veins. I also grew up in my grandmother's house who made a kick ass meatball. So Italian food is an area I know a little something about.


The debate is whether or not a chain restaurant can deliver good Italian food.


My stance on this is yes and no.


When it comes to Italian cooking, I believe it is an art form. To do it properly, you need to have a desire to do it well and right. Now, I do not believe this is a difficult art form. I think anyone with a desire to succeed at it can do it well.


But here is a problem I see with these Italian chains. Their own popularity does them in.


You see, a lot of people when they want to go out for Italian food get lazy about it. They don't want to search out a good local hole in the wall somewhere. No, they'd rather go to the mall and get Olive Garden. It's an easy choice that doesn't require thought. And what that does is cause a logjam where you have an hour wait for a table at places like that, because a lot of people think like they do.


So what does the staff do? Being influenced by the corporate climate, they shoot for high turnover to get more business in. They have easy corporate recipies which the cooks follow to the letter without their own creativity (notice I call them cooks, not chefs). This allows them to get dishes out quicker than a lot of local Italian places can pull off. In some cases, this rush job creates a dish that is passable to most people who don't demand a little more.


By the way... the above opinion is not really based on any study. It's just my observation. And it may be full of crap. But I defy you to prove me wrong.


Now this isn't to say that local Italian places don't have a wait. They most certainly do. But in their cases, you're most likely to need a reservation to get in. I think that means that they know ahead of time what their business is going to be, so they don't shoot for the highest amount of turnover possible. So the chefs can prepare ahead a little better, and it helps that they themselves created the recipes they serve in a lot of cases. It makes for a more unique experience, and a much better one in my opinion.


Basically, what I see is that chains are less likely to take reservations, which means they go for highest amount of tunrover possible, and that leads to food that comes off of an assembly line. While local places take reservations, know a little more in advance what they're going to get business-wise, and plan ahead and staff properly which gives the chef a little room to do what they need to do.


Once again, my opinion based on no facts I know of whatsoever.


A couple of chains do pull this off in my mind. I have always been a fan of Maggiano's Little Italy. Maybe it's because they behave like a higher class restaurant. I think for an Italian chain you need to behave like a high class place on the ground level to succeed. I've always had a good meal there.


Now call me crazy, but I also like Bertucci's. But I don't go to Bertucci's for high class Italian. I go there for a good calzone and hot rolls. I don't have high expectations there. I tend not to order anything else. But I can see how that rushed atmosphere can hurt them. Case in point... I was at a Bertucci's this past Good Friday. Of course the rest of the world seemed to be there too since we couldn't get a really good parking spot and they had a 30 minute wait. People eat a lot of pizza on Good Friday of course, being the last Friday of Lent. (Consequently, the nearby Charlie Brown's Steakhouse was begging for customers that evening. You could park next to their salad bar for all they cared.) So I ordered a grilled chicken calzone. I got a sausage calzone. Apparently the cook couldn't read too well. When I asked how long it would take to make a new calzone, they said 15 minutes. Thank goodness I like sausage.


My official opinion on the Olive Garden is incomplete. Reason is that I tend to not go there. I've only been to one Olive Garden, and I only ordered a grilled chicken caesar salad which didn't taste too bad. But it's kinda hard to screw that up. I've had many people tell me that Olive Garden isn't really worth it, so I believe them. They do seem to reek of corporateness.


I have liked Carabba's in the past, but they have suffered from inconsistency. I have had a meal there where the cook was a little too in love with the pepper that day and had a heavy hand. It almost made the meal uneatable.


Now for a chain to really fail my test, they need to fail one of my two cardinal rules for a good Italian restaurant. (I got friggin rules for everything, don't I?)


1. They gotta make a good meatball.


2. They gotta make a good chicken parmigana.


Those two foods are essential to Italian food in my world. If you can't do those well, you can't do anything well.


One that failed... Vinny Testa's. I guarantee you haven't heard of them, unless you lived in Boston. They are a Boston based Italian chain with one outpost near Philadelphia and about 10 locations in Mass.

When I lived in Boston, I did enjoy the occasional trip to Vinny T's. I thought they were a quality place. So much so that I would brag to my Philly friends about it that they should go to the Philly location.

One night I recommended going with the woman that would eventually be my wife when we were dating. Anxious to show off my knowledge of good restaurants, I recommended we try Vinny Testa's out.

We both ordered the chicken parmigana. And they broke Rev's Cardinal Rule #2 on Italian Restaurants. It sucked. Not only was it burnt, the sauce had little flavor to it. Here I am trying to impress the lady, and they let me down... on one of the easiest dishes in Italian food to make too. Either I picked the wrong night, or they are slipping.

I have not forgiven them for it, and I have not been back since.

When it comes to local Italian places, I have more than a few recommendations in Philly or Boston. I may share those in the future. When it comes to chain places, proceed at your own risk.