Chapter 5: Italian chains

My good man, ElPadrino, touched on this subject on his blog. But I have decided to go further into this topic.


I am not a full-blooded Italian, but I do have Italian blood in my veins. I also grew up in my grandmother's house who made a kick ass meatball. So Italian food is an area I know a little something about.


The debate is whether or not a chain restaurant can deliver good Italian food.


My stance on this is yes and no.


When it comes to Italian cooking, I believe it is an art form. To do it properly, you need to have a desire to do it well and right. Now, I do not believe this is a difficult art form. I think anyone with a desire to succeed at it can do it well.


But here is a problem I see with these Italian chains. Their own popularity does them in.


You see, a lot of people when they want to go out for Italian food get lazy about it. They don't want to search out a good local hole in the wall somewhere. No, they'd rather go to the mall and get Olive Garden. It's an easy choice that doesn't require thought. And what that does is cause a logjam where you have an hour wait for a table at places like that, because a lot of people think like they do.


So what does the staff do? Being influenced by the corporate climate, they shoot for high turnover to get more business in. They have easy corporate recipies which the cooks follow to the letter without their own creativity (notice I call them cooks, not chefs). This allows them to get dishes out quicker than a lot of local Italian places can pull off. In some cases, this rush job creates a dish that is passable to most people who don't demand a little more.


By the way... the above opinion is not really based on any study. It's just my observation. And it may be full of crap. But I defy you to prove me wrong.


Now this isn't to say that local Italian places don't have a wait. They most certainly do. But in their cases, you're most likely to need a reservation to get in. I think that means that they know ahead of time what their business is going to be, so they don't shoot for the highest amount of turnover possible. So the chefs can prepare ahead a little better, and it helps that they themselves created the recipes they serve in a lot of cases. It makes for a more unique experience, and a much better one in my opinion.


Basically, what I see is that chains are less likely to take reservations, which means they go for highest amount of tunrover possible, and that leads to food that comes off of an assembly line. While local places take reservations, know a little more in advance what they're going to get business-wise, and plan ahead and staff properly which gives the chef a little room to do what they need to do.


Once again, my opinion based on no facts I know of whatsoever.


A couple of chains do pull this off in my mind. I have always been a fan of Maggiano's Little Italy. Maybe it's because they behave like a higher class restaurant. I think for an Italian chain you need to behave like a high class place on the ground level to succeed. I've always had a good meal there.


Now call me crazy, but I also like Bertucci's. But I don't go to Bertucci's for high class Italian. I go there for a good calzone and hot rolls. I don't have high expectations there. I tend not to order anything else. But I can see how that rushed atmosphere can hurt them. Case in point... I was at a Bertucci's this past Good Friday. Of course the rest of the world seemed to be there too since we couldn't get a really good parking spot and they had a 30 minute wait. People eat a lot of pizza on Good Friday of course, being the last Friday of Lent. (Consequently, the nearby Charlie Brown's Steakhouse was begging for customers that evening. You could park next to their salad bar for all they cared.) So I ordered a grilled chicken calzone. I got a sausage calzone. Apparently the cook couldn't read too well. When I asked how long it would take to make a new calzone, they said 15 minutes. Thank goodness I like sausage.


My official opinion on the Olive Garden is incomplete. Reason is that I tend to not go there. I've only been to one Olive Garden, and I only ordered a grilled chicken caesar salad which didn't taste too bad. But it's kinda hard to screw that up. I've had many people tell me that Olive Garden isn't really worth it, so I believe them. They do seem to reek of corporateness.


I have liked Carabba's in the past, but they have suffered from inconsistency. I have had a meal there where the cook was a little too in love with the pepper that day and had a heavy hand. It almost made the meal uneatable.


Now for a chain to really fail my test, they need to fail one of my two cardinal rules for a good Italian restaurant. (I got friggin rules for everything, don't I?)


1. They gotta make a good meatball.


2. They gotta make a good chicken parmigana.


Those two foods are essential to Italian food in my world. If you can't do those well, you can't do anything well.


One that failed... Vinny Testa's. I guarantee you haven't heard of them, unless you lived in Boston. They are a Boston based Italian chain with one outpost near Philadelphia and about 10 locations in Mass.

When I lived in Boston, I did enjoy the occasional trip to Vinny T's. I thought they were a quality place. So much so that I would brag to my Philly friends about it that they should go to the Philly location.

One night I recommended going with the woman that would eventually be my wife when we were dating. Anxious to show off my knowledge of good restaurants, I recommended we try Vinny Testa's out.

We both ordered the chicken parmigana. And they broke Rev's Cardinal Rule #2 on Italian Restaurants. It sucked. Not only was it burnt, the sauce had little flavor to it. Here I am trying to impress the lady, and they let me down... on one of the easiest dishes in Italian food to make too. Either I picked the wrong night, or they are slipping.

I have not forgiven them for it, and I have not been back since.

When it comes to local Italian places, I have more than a few recommendations in Philly or Boston. I may share those in the future. When it comes to chain places, proceed at your own risk.

Chapter 4: Barbecue

I'm becoming a barbecue snob. At least that is what my wife thinks.

Why does she think this? Because I had the gall to diss on Famous Dave's over the weekend.

Have any of you ever been to Famous Dave's? It's a chain restaurant that does barbecue type food. Perhaps you have one near you.

Now, do not get me wrong. Famous Dave's isn't a bad meal at all. In fact, I do enjoy their food. But it ain't real barbecue in my mind.

Why do I believe that? Because if you go to any Famous Dave's in America, you will get the same food each time. Now while there is something to be said about consistency, that doesn't mean real barbecue to me. That's corporate barbecue.

You see, one of the joys of going to a real barbecue place, and I'm talking one that is owned by some old geezer named Duke or some old mama named Koko, is that you get a different experience at each one you visit. Because people like that put a little extra into the food. And their individual recipes all have something that another place does not.

I'm becoming more and more of a fan of real barbecue as I go along. And I'm saying this while realizing that I probably haven't had the true real thing. You see, Philadelphia doesn't have a lot of real barbecue joints. Not like a place such as Memphis would have or Kansas City or Austin. You have to search them out around here.

When you find one around here though, it is a special thing.

Two rules I have about barbecue joints...

1. I need to see the smoker outside the place. A good barbecue place has a really big smoker, either on a trailer or in a house, outisde the joint. If I can't see the smoker that makes the meat, then it's no damn good. Then I tend to believe that it might be a corporate type joint that slathers Kraft sauce on meat and serves it with a Pillsbury biscuit. I will allow for any smoker that is located inside the restaurant, as long as I can get a good view of it from the front of the counter. If you're hiding where you're meat is coming from, then I believe you're hiding something for a reason.

2. The meat needs to taste good without sauce on it. Now don't get me wrong. I like me some barbecue sauce. Barbecue sauce doesn't suck at all. But real good barbecue doesn't need the sauce. I believe this with every fiber of my being. Now, real barbecue with the added zing of a real good barbecue sauce can be a truly beautiful thing. And if you don't know what I mean, then you haven't had real barbecue.

Some have passed this test, some have not. One that passed this test in my book but is no longer in business is a place called Zeke's, which used to be in the Overbrook section of Philly. Poor Zeke just couldn't keep himself in business. But he had the best damn food I ever tasted.

In fact, I'm doing something to immortalize Zeke. Somehow, his famous wing rub leaked out to the internet. Maybe he leaked it out there, I don't know. But I'm posting it here just in case the recipe gets taken off the net for some reason. It must live on.

Here it is. I have used it myself, and it works like a charm.

ZEKE'S BBQ WINGS
4 Servings

Ingredients
1/2 C kosher salt
1/2 C paprika
2 oz garlic powder
2 oz granulated onion
2 oz black pepper
1 1/2 lb whole fresh chicken wings

Note
It is important to use Kosher salt because table salt will dissolve into the meat but kosher salt will draw out fat

Method
- Salt and pepper the chicken wings before applying the rub; it makes a difference.
- Toss wings with rub until they turn bright orange.
- Add more rub, a little at a time until they become slightly red.
- Let wings sit overnight.
- Heat coals until glowing in charcoal grill. Cook over medium heat. You should be able to hold your hand over the coals for 4 seconds.
- Arrange wings on a hinged grill basket so that you can turn the wings every two minutes or so until they become dark orange. Be careful not to burn the wings. The flavor will be very different.

Now maybe this isn't true barbecue because you're not smoking the wings for hours. But how many of us have that much time to do that? I use the rub on wings over a gas grill and they never let me down.

In Philadelphia, if you can search out a place called Sweet Lucy's on State Road near Cottman Ave, do it. They pass my two part test with flying colors. They are now my new favorite Philly joint.

And one more tip... every year the Phillies have a barbecue contest before a game, usually in August. You don't need a ticket to the game to go there and try some damn good ribs. And who has the best ribs at the contest? Former centerfielder Garry Maddox, that's who. One of my baseball idols growing up also makes some of the best damn ribs I have eaten. I went there last year, and I think I went back to his stand about 5 times.

I should have gotten him to autograph a bone.

Chapter 3: Irish Whiskey

So I did have my lesson on Irish whiskey on Thursday night.

And I did promise to report on what I had, so here I am to report.

Now, I'm not reporting to you as any kind of Irish whiskey expert. Far from it. I'm reporting to you as someone who tried a lot of this stuff for the first time.

I tend to be more of a scotch drinker when it comes to the hard stuff. And I don't drink it everyday. I consider it a special occasion kind of drink. But then again, scotch is just a form of whiskey with a different name. So I wasn't out of my element here.

The night consisted of tasting 4 different Irish whiskeys, and smoking good cigars. The cigars that were handed out were called Cuban Stock. These were the darker full bodied Cuban Stock cigars in this case. I actually didn't smoke them, since I had brought along a nice Dominican Cohiba to enjoy. So I kept the Cuban Stock to take home for the humidor. I wasn't in the mood for a full bodied cigar on Thursday, and the Cohiba I picked was just the right flavor for me.

For the record... Cuban Stock is made by a company called Crown David. Interesting company in my book. You don't find them everywhere. They can only be found at certain cigar stores. I'm not sure why that is. The one I frequent occasionally near where I live sells a boatload of them, but that's the only store I see them in. I usually bypass them for other brands. They're not like Montecristos or Partagas which every cigar store seems to sell. I'm looking forward to actually trying one soon.

Anyway, let me get to the 4 brands we tried, and my thoughts on each.

The first whiskey of the night was Tullamore Dew. The gentleman who was giving us the whiskey lecture started telling us about it, and then gave us tips on how to truly taste the whiskey, such as examining the color, swirling it in the glass, smelling the bouquet, and adding a couple drops of water to really bring out the flavor. He suggested that we let the whiskey roll across our whole tongue to get the full flavors.

Well, I did all that, and then I drank making sure to get it all across my whole tongue as he said. Problem is, the front part of my tongue didn't like that idea. It started burning like crazy as if to say to me, "What the hell are you doing? Just drink the damn stuff!"

It turns out the Tullamore Dew was probably the least smooth whiskey of the 4. He started with the cheaper stuff. It was not the type of whiskey that was aged over 10 years. The best was yet to come.

Second was the Bushmills 10 Year Single Malt. Now we are upgrading. I was told that while the Tullamore went for about $20 a bottle, this stuff was just under $40 a bottle. First thing I noticed, as well as the guy next to me who took a sniff, was that this whiskey had a much stronger aroma. It was so strong, we both backed off the glass and went "Whoa!" at the same time. It wasn't a bad aroma, it was just so much stronger than the Tullamore. We figured this stuff might go down like rusty nails based on the smell alone.

Then we sipped... and it was so much smoother than the last one. That was a very pleasant surprise. To have that strong of an aroma yet go down nice and smooth, that's quite the success. Of course they say the longer a whiskey is aged, the smoother it gets. Thumbs up to the Bushmills.

Thirdly, we moved to the Jameson 12 Year Old. Conventional wisdom says this would be even smoother than the Bushmills 10 year old. But I agreed with the gentleman sitting next to me. We both thought the Bushmills was actually a bit smoother. But definitely a step up from the Tullamore. No question.

Lastly, it was the Redbreast 12 Year Old Pure Pot Still Whiskey. I figured the best was for last. This bottle apparently costs in the $45 per bottle range and was the most expensive of the whole night. Of the 4 whiskeys, it had the most bold and distinct pure whiskey flavor. No question.

But surprisingly, I thought the Bushmills 10 Year got the prize for being the smoothest. I enjoyed drinking that the most.

And if you want everyone else's opinion that night, lust look at the raffle they had. You got to buy tickets and put them into a pot for each of the 4 whiskeys to be given away. You got to put them into the pot matching the whiskey you wanted to win. By far, the least amount of tickets was in the Tullamore Dew pot. I think that said it all.

And how do you like this... the guy I was speaking with the whole night and sharing the thoughts on the whiskey with that I mentioned before... he won the grand prize of the night. That was a bottle of Midleton Very Rare Irish Whiskey. Whiskey that is so rare, each bottle has a serial number and is actually signed by the distiller. Regular price on that bottle... $140.

That stuff is so exclusive, there's an invitation inside the box that says if you bought the whiskey, you're invited to come to the distillery in Ireland to sign a special guest book dedicated to owners of the whiskey.

No, the trip isn't free. You gotta pay for the plane to Ireland. But that's still quite an invite.

And I was this close to winning it too. His winning ticket had 03 on it. Mine had 04.

Oh well, maybe I'll meet up with him again and he'll let me taste a glass. I do wonder what whiskey signed and numbered by the distiller tastes like.

Yet to come...

Tomorrow night, I will be attending an Irish Whiskey tasting as well as a cigar tasting.

25 bucks... gets you food, whiskey samples, cigars, etc. It's a good deal.

Not sure what types of whiskey or cigars will be featured. We shall see.

I will report back on my findings.